A pair of chopsticks charmed to bless any food with heavenly flavor, but the taste goes straight to hell if they touch your lips.
A bag of chip. Some time after the chip is eaten, the bag re-seals and inflates into another bag of chip.
An infinitely unfoldable bolt of elaborately tailored denim resulting from an attempt to conjure “one pants”.
A plush octopus stuffed with bugs that don’t come out.
A normal-looking universal remote control that can configure any cat.
A coin that always lands on your head.
Tea that has wildly different flavor and caffeine content for every second of steep time.
A set of glass cups that huddle closer together if left alone.
A silver spoon stamped with persistently sticky letters.
A carton of “shampoo eggs”.
An elegant scarlet ribbon that stains bright crimson the pages of any book closed around it.
A tasty recipe book. Many pages are missing.
A thick tome that grows in length whenever its leather teeth consume a fellow book. Will the sequel write itself?
A rechargeable battery alpaca.
A green velvet purse stuffed with pieces of all the numbers from one to nine.
A scratchy fabric-bound spiral notebook that erases anything written on the back of a page.
A notebook whose contents you’ll never forget.
An opaque tupperware container accurately labeled “Chez Mix”.
A CAPS LOCK KEY THAT ISN’T ATTACHED TO A KEYBOARD BUT STILL SEEMS TO WORK.
A box fan that spins the whole box.
A c*n of d*rty a*ter*sks. Ah, da*n, looks like th*y g*t out.