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Saturday202X

The year is 202X. Humankind has nearly consumed the stars. Technological advancement has outpaced the futurists’ dreams… and nightmares.

It is a lonely Saturday202X night. You decide to tube in to YouTune on your fancy TV202X. Perhaps your favorite video games player is playing some video games at this very moment.

The glow from the remote paints the valumnium walls neon blue. You chuckle. Clunky infrared signal transmitters were the final comfortable relic to be obliterated by progress. After many years suckling the putrid red nectar of history, you snapped your old remote in half and sailed towards the cobalt horizons of the future.

Connection lost, says the remote. Re-connecting, it whispers, caressing your mind with gentle certainty. Everything will be fine.

Everything will be fine.

It is Saturday202X, after all.

The Bargain

Tagged poem

A rather longish time ago
when heaven was a place
a kind of twisted sort of girl
fell firmly for a face.

She gathered up forbidden tomes
and followed shifty rules;
the shadows that her candles cast
were jumping jet-like jewels.

Unflinching but still passionate
She invoked the devil’s name.
And the shadows cast all coalesced:
the angles made a frame.

Deep with in the dark, she saw
Him!
With a shining crown of brass.
He had no horns, nor pointed tail
But a very splendid smirk.

“O darkest lord, I’ve summoned thee
to bargain for my soul.
But first I want your warranty
you won’t refuse my goal.”

He chuckled then, all sugar-sweet,
“My little dear, of course.
I shan’t deny your deepest wish,
whether a kingdom or a horse.”

“I’ll even make a bet with you.
I hereby guarantee:
If I decline to grant your wish,
I’ll give you one for free.”

Emboldened now she carried on
but her voice began to shake.
“Devil, dear, I want true love.
The truest you can make.”

“Of course, of course!” The devil laughed.
“Just tell me of his name.
His love for you will never fade
and shall forever live in fame.”

She stared deep into his eyes
of copper swirling thick.

And stared.

And stared.

And said,

“Devil dear, I’ve said it thrice
behind these hidden doors.
For ever and eternity,
the love I want is yours.”

The Devil
for the second time
in his long, long life
was
very surprised.

But soon he went away.
Something surely changed that night–
What it was I couldn’t say.

You don’t hear of many deals these days.
Perhaps the devil is ashamed.
Or did the fallen angel fall again
for the girl he entertained?

I hear the lass still laughs today.
Of her there’s little news.
But if the life she lives is hers–
I suppose you’ll have to choose.

The Devil Gave Me Wisdom

Tagged poem

The devil gave me wisdom,
because for wisdom I had asked.
“A sage’s choice”, he winked at me,
and vanished in a flash.
“But what about—” I cried in vain.
I haven’t seen him since.

The devil gave me wisdom.
He didn’t charge a cent.
He thought so cursed I’d end my life
And double what I spent.

The devil gave me wisdom!
That jester laughs at me.
Each koan and tale I know for fact
Lacks the truth of lies;
And lacking personal experience
I’m just a walking tome that dies.

The devil gave me wisdom:
I should have asked for love.
But knowing him as I do now,
I know just what he’d say:
“I’ll grant your love, O lonely man,
I know for what you pray.
But knowing you as I do now,
I doubt your love would stay.”

A Riddle of Civilization

Tagged poem

I left when the village became a town.
I returned when the town became a city.
I was a part of the nation it became.
But when the country fell, I was with the rebellion.

What am I?

Inventory of a suspiciously shimmering pantry

Tagged magic. Part 1 of 3.Start from the beginning?

A pair of chopsticks charmed to bless any food with heavenly flavor, but the taste goes straight to hell if they touch your lips.

A bag of chip. Some time after the chip is eaten, the bag re-seals and inflates into another bag of chip.

An infinitely unfoldable bolt of elaborately tailored denim resulting from an attempt to conjure “one pants”.

A plush octopus stuffed with bugs that don’t come out.

A normal-looking universal remote control that can configure any cat.

A coin that always lands on your head.

Tea that has wildly different flavor and caffeine content for every second of steep time.

A set of glass cups that huddle closer together if left alone.

A silver spoon stamped with persistently sticky letters.

A carton of “shampoo eggs”.

An elegant scarlet ribbon that stains bright crimson the pages of any book closed around it.

A tasty recipe book. Many pages are missing.

A thick tome that grows in length whenever its leather teeth consume a fellow book. Will the sequel write itself?

A rechargeable battery alpaca.

A green velvet purse stuffed with pieces of all the numbers from one to nine.

A scratchy fabric-bound spiral notebook that erases anything written on the back of a page.

A notebook whose contents you’ll never forget.

An opaque tupperware container accurately labeled “Chez Mix”.

A CAPS LOCK KEY THAT ISN’T ATTACHED TO A KEYBOARD BUT STILL SEEMS TO WORK.

A box fan that spins the whole box.

A c*n of d*rty a*ter*sks. Ah, da*n, looks like th*y g*t out.

«Inventory, Part 1 of 3 »

The news rushed through the sewers and swept the rats into hysteria. Rigorous analysis of rigorous surveys, the posters said, implicated the creatures of the murky tunnels in every drain on city resources. “Very ratshunnal as usual”, Bernard grumbled. “I’ll bet their data is all anonymouse.”

Thrystam's Hatched Follower

Tagged magic

Thrystram’s Hatched Follower!, exclaimed the clamshell packaging. A gleeful Spellustration of a chimera danced around the cardboard insert, making faces at the script. Train yourself to train a familiar! Each swift-gro egg will hatch in hours, bond in days, and gently depart in just a fortnight, leaving you one step closer to familiar familiarity. The back of the box, beast-free, revealed that each egg had a one-in-thirteen chance of hatching a beginner’s basilisk.

Which was why I was on the case.

To your left is a heavy wooden door, its fine oaken features obscured by iron bars and the glittery aura of magic. From the room beyond, you hear the muffled scuffle of heavy wooden furniture shuffling from place to place, the thumps and flutters of indecisive tomes swapping perches, and the faint but dedicated pound-pound-pound of portraits and paintings migrating from wall to wall.

“Kabros’s Unstoppable Decorator”, the Wizard grumbles. “Haven’t been able to use that room for months.”

The Frozen O

Tagged magic

“Nine divines and seven hells. Gods.” The Captain cursed to a higher authority than he’d ever done. “Thrice-damned devils.” The trail had abruptly run cold, colder than the frosted raindrops that pelted the darkened city streets; roughly as cold as the girl he’d been tracking, whom he’d just found frozen solid.

He shook the moisture from a cigarette and pulled from his cloak a small brass dragon, crafted by magic and sold by the dozen to agencies all over the city. He held the dragon in place at chin-height, twisting its tail until a tiny blue flame bubbled its way out of the trinket’s jaws and onto the suddenly-dry hempen paper. The downpour bent around the cerulean embers as he stared at the girl, whose lips would never make another letter aside from O.

The Librarian

“There are only so many of us, you see, and every world needs holiday gods.” The rabbit told me. His floppy ears and reserved voice reminded me more of a professor or librarian than a harvest saint. “So we each draw from lots and hats and things whenever a new world hops up. I’m a springtime candy sprite in one, and there’s another where kids stay up late on winter equinox and try to spy a snow-bunny under the moonlight, for good luck.”

“And we’ve had to keep a few grisly roles in the selection, too,” huffed a colorful swirl of pops and flames. “I get to dazzle one world with lovely shapes and colors for celebration nights all year round. Another world, there’s a coming-of-age holiday where you show off your grit by holding and holding and holding—” He puffed himself out, then fizzled back down to normal size with a thin fweeeeeeee.“—on to a firecracker just before it goes.” He swished and sizzled, angrily and sadly. “There are lots of missing fingers in that place.”

“So—” I said unevenly, suddenly relishing the feeling of the paper under my fingertips. “What can I do for you?”

The rabbit spoke again, while the creatures, auras, and people-like spirits looked sagely on. “Quite a while ago, one of us got stuck in one world and accidentally ascended to godhood, and now he’s simply too busy for his old roles. We miss him dearly–he was very kind, always a peaceful arbitrator when disagreements arose.”

(I was relieved to hear there was little animosity between godly castes.)

“Miss, you work here, surrounded by history, by ideas, by legends, icons, spirits and gods…” He swept his paws outwards, towards the shelves, his voice soft but reverent. “And the best holidays have a story behind them. Will you help us find someone new who could fit into any holiday tale?”


Before me was a great whirlwind of lines: stone-gray gridlines, heavy crimson zigzags, and grand blue inclines. As they twisted and swirled, the whirlwind became a cone, then as grids straightened and bulged outwards the cone became a great tree. Its graphpaper boughs, all climbing steadily skywards, were laden with a fruit I didn’t recognize, and through the pale green squarish leaves I accidentally stared right into the sun.

“Hello,” grumbled the tree. “I’m the economy.”

“Hello, sir.” I said, trying to blink dots out of my eyes. “I’m a librarian. Would you mind if I sat and talked with you?”

Leaves rustled as it chuckled. “I’ve driven many mad who got too close to me.”

I found a spot to sit by the trunk, its papery bark peeling outwards, and propped myself up among solid and shapely roots. I stared up towards the branches, squinting at the mysterious heavy shapes. It was a while before I said, “What kind of people usually visit you?”

I waited a while longer, squinting harder. It couldn’t be coins since they weren’t flat; and the leaves were bill-colored but were still leafy, so it was probably something fruit-like. Organic, at least.

“Everyone visits me, some time or another, to try and receive my bounty, my fruit. But most of them stay a ways off, and they do chores to get my fruit from someone else who has a lot.”

“Many come to see me regularly, and pray at my roots, and wish for some of my fruit to fall down by its own accord. But there are so many of them, and I cannot feed them all, so most of them are unhappy, but still come to pray.”

“Some people stare at me so hungrily, and rush to mount my canopy; they live there for a long time, gathering, shoving the others that try to ascend. Many of them fall crashing down, since they all compete for what little I can grow, and sometimes they misjudge the branches and fall by themselves, but others eventually climb down carefully and walk away satisfied.”

“Certain others study me for a long time, and suddenly say ‘Ah!’, and they plant part of my fruit and carefully nurture a little bit of me. Eventually, their little tree grows fruit they can keep to themselves or share.”

“Some of them, like you, come and talk to me, to try and understand me, and they watch and listen and they put baskets where they think my fruit will fall, but usually they’re wrong, and some get angry and leave. But they usually come back.”

The tree’s voice faded away. The leaves above me rustled again, quieter this time. They looked papery when they fluttered. With a tiny “plop” one of the mysterious fruits from far above lost its grip and fell. It bounced off a root and rolled to a stop against my shoe.

“What is this?” I asked. “It looks like… this looks just like a dinner roll.”

“My fruit seems different to everyone,” said the economy. “But it’s always something grounding. For you, you probably remember dinners at your grandparents with lots of dinner rolls, a time when food was on the way and there was nothing for a kid to worry about. But rolls aren’t enough for a meal, when you’re older. And you can have a nice day with a big pile of money, but… I haven’t met anyone yet who really seems happy with money and nothing else.

I munched on the roll, holding my notebook away from the crumbs. I did have memories like that–similar, anyway. The bread-fruit was airy and a little buttery, and tasted a bit like blueberries. I wrapped some up in notepaper for later.

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it's sabs, like "sobs"