Blow me over with a feather attached to a dog

Protect from Exposure to Air

Jammed into the dust compartment was a small bottle of fine balsamic vinegar.

“Why is this in here?” I asked.
“Oh, well, that bottle says ‘protect from exposure to air’, so I put it in the… oh.”

Her whole face began to turn red, and my whole heart began to melt.

it's sabs, like "sobs"